The Crocodile

I got lost and you couldn’t find me

I saw a large crocodile’s jaws behind me

I ran for cover and got chased in the dark

You searched high and low with a glowing spark

I’d been lost for 30 years

I became wild, wizened and full of tears

Living each day on berries and small crustaceans

Wandering aimlessly with the constellations

You searched for weeks and you searched for months

When all I had was my shades and my holiday swimming trunks

The radar picked up ships and planes, still I was not found

While I survived in the forest, making no sound

Left alone without the ticking of a clock

My mind went fuzzy and my thoughts ran amok

Until an alien hired the nose of a fat sniffer-dog

When all the world feared I had demised in a bog

Soon I was detected in a deep dark trench

You wouldn’t have believed the stench!

Then I was taken to a far off planet

Quizzed, then prodded and fed like a gannet

In the caves of a strange place made of sparkling dust

Until my captors had had enough

They flew me home and now I’m all scrubbed-up

I really can’t believe my luck

I’m calling now to let you know I’m here

I’ve shaved my beard and cut my hair

So please come and visit and I’ll fill your cup

Come when you wish and come made-up

Because I’d like to meet and talk a while

Just please don’t mention the crocodile!